Gluten-Free Pizza: From Cardboard to Capello's

Ah, pizza. While I was never a huge fan, the dish certainly played an important part of my childhood. I remember meeting my grandparents at Frank the Pizza King when I was but a wee lassie; my parents would order the Frank's special, and I would gobble up the pieces with extra mushrooms. Abby, my little sister, always requested the luncheon special with pineapple. Bleh. Frank's was a big treat - there was a Galaga arcade machine in one corner, and a jukebox in another. And after every hearty meal, the kids would scramble up to the front counter and get a bubble gum lollipop. Pizza is also a hit at parties. From birthdays to back-to-school celebrations, you are sure to find a large, greasy pie lounging on the counter, tempting everyone in the vicinity. But Primal eating means no more Domino's. No more Black Jack's. No more Pizza Hut, Little Caesar's, or Papa John's. No more Frank the Pizza King.

Of course, one can always scrape the cheese, sauce, and toppings off of the crust. That makes a good meal when you are craving pizza. But sometimes, I just really want bread. I want a good, chewy crust. It's hard to find a grain-free pizza crust that's any good, but there are plenty of gluten-free options. Here are two of my reviews for the worst gluten-free pizza I've ever had to the best (grain-free!) brand I've tasted.

The Worst Gluten-Free Crust, According to Maya Epstein
Recently, I attended my best friend Emma's birthday party. Unsurprisingly, she was serving pizza and cake. Not wanting to be a burden, I texted Emma, offering to eat before the party; however, Emma refused, point blank. "We'll order you a gluten-free crust," she insisted. I was certainly touched by her accommodating me, and slightly intrigued - I'd never had a gluten-free crust from a restaurant before. Would it be delicious? I'd have to wait and see. I arrived at Emma's to a house full of girls, all eating pizza. Emma and her dad directed me to the kitchen, where I was presented with... voila! My very own cheesy, Black Jack Gluten-Free Cheese Pizza. The cheese and sauce looked, well, like cheese and sauce. Yum! But the crust... hmm. Upon first glance, it looked remarkably like charred cardboard. Incredibly thin and crisp, I decided to give it a go. The first few bites weren't bad. The greasy cheese made up for the terrible crust. But then I got to the end of my slice. Now, my favorite part about Frank the Pizza King's Frank's Special was the doughy masterpiece of a crust. Just biting into it was like a pizza heaven (get it?). But the crust on this Black Jack pizza almost broke my tooth. In short: it looked like cardboard, it tasted like cardboard, and it was as hard as wood. But, I was hungry, and Emma and her family had been so kind to order it for me. So I choked it down.

The Best Grain-Free Crust, According to Maya Epstein
I find pleasure in strolling down the aisles at my local grocery store. It's a weird hobby, yes, but on occasion, it can be very rewarding. Such was the day that I stumbled across Capello's Pizza Crust in the frozen section. 'Gluten-free!' it said. 'Grain free! Paleo!' I was so, so, SO excited. It actually looked good. I read the ingredients. They actually looked good!!! Hoping to the gods of pizza that it would be as delectable as it sounded, I took a bargain and put a Naked Capello's Crust into my cart. It was kind of expensive, so I was bound to be disappointed if it turned out to be rubbish. To my sheer delight - the pizza was phenomenal! I prepared it with thick slabs of fresh mozzarella, sliced roma tomatoes, and basil. Oh man, was it good! Sure, it wasn't as filling as traditional pizza, and it was a little more chewy and floppy. But holy cow, did I enjoy it. Capello's has hence forth been a special treat at the Epstein household. You can learn more about the brand and its products here.

Gluten-free items are never like the real thing, but Capello's Pizza has come very close in my experience. And it is highly possible that the folks who prepared my Gluten-Free Black Jack's Pizza accidentally left it in the oven for too long. Who knows? Perhaps it's halfway decent when it's not burnt. Have you had a favorite gluten or grain-free product that I should try? Please let me know in the comments below!

Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy pizza, and that's a close second.
With happy pizza thoughts,
Maya

Photo by Vita Marija Murenaite on Unsplash, Photo by Jamie Goodwin on Unsplash,
Photo by Fancycrave on Unsplash, Photo by Geo Darwin on Unsplash