Mermaids Don't Have Thigh Gaps

Beautiful!

Oooooh, I love that title!!! Thigh gap or not, reader, you are absolutely wonderful - hence today's post.

I saw this really great quote on Pinterest. It said, "If you were
asked to list the things you love, how long would it take to name yourself?" Does anyone else find that to be an incredibly deep question? Does anyone else think that question is food for the brain? The answer is a BIG yes, as tons of folks have pinned the quote. But I felt that it deserved more than a place on my Happy Board. It needed to be talked about.

Had you asked me to write a list of the things I love before I met this quote, it would look something like this: writing, family, friends, exercising, green tea, fresh produce, books, inventing, cooking, watching movies, walking, etc. I would never have thought to name myself. When I realized this, I was actually kind of stunned.

Beautiful!

Mirrors have never exactly been my friends. If I really sit back and think about it, when I look into a mirror, I see only the negative aspects of myself. Goodness, I'll think, I wish my hair was thicker and curlier. Wouldn't it be nice if my stomach was a little flatter? My ears are so small. My thighs are too big. I could go on. And on. And on. And that sucks. I wish that I could see all of the lovely things about Maya Epstein when I look into the mirror. But that's extraordinarily hard; society has made a mold, a standard for women, that I don't fit into. I'm super short, and have a very athletic body type. I'm definitely not that 5'9" model that disappears when she turns sideways. The media is constantly providing us with images of women who are "picture perfect." Instead of respecting those women and ourselves as beautiful, we compare ourselves to them. Oh! She doesn't have any cellulite. Look at her eyes! They're so big and... those eyelashes! I wish I was like that. 

Beautiful!

Now, I have MAJOR problems with this. For one, we shouldn't be comparing ourselves to anyone. Each and every person on this Earth is fabulous and unique in their own way. There is no need to put others on a pedestal and feel as though we are inferior. Yet, it happens. For another, it puts body over being. We shouldn't admire people solely for their good looks; we need to appreciate people for things that aren't so skin deep. Beauty is temporary, but kindness, love, intelligence, and creativity are forever. Finally, comparison is the death of joy and self-esteem.

Truth be told, the reason that I first started to eat well and exercise is because I wanted to be prettier. I wanted so badly to look like some of my friends and to be just like those girls on the magazines. We all know where that got me. It spiraled into dangerous weight loss and shattered my self-confidence. I was never good enough for myself. And if I wasn't good enough for myself, how could I possibly be good enough for other people?

Beautiful!

I fought my way out of that, eventually. But it took a long time. I developed serious health issues such as amenorrhea and the start of osteoporosis, and was exceptionally insecure. I got out, because eating well and exercising became a lot more to me than being pretty. They were ways in which I could nourish and energize my body, and appreciate it for what it can do. Perhaps my experience is why body positivity is so important to me. Your body should never be critiqued. Your body is beautiful and your body is unique. Your worth is not measured by the size of your waist. You don't need validation from anyone else to feel good about yourself. I learned that hating your body won't make you thin, and that being thin doesn't mean you stop hating your body. Loving yourself is a true revolution; fight that battle, my friends.

Beautiful!

As our post comes to a close, may I ask you a question? Have you ever in your life heard a woman say "I love my body" or "I am proud of my body"? I sure haven't. So here is today's challenge. Walk up to a mirror and tell it firmly that you love and accept yourself just the way you are. Tell that mirror that you are enough. If you catch yourself body checking or shaming, turn your attention to an element of yourself that you love: You are good at soccer. You are a leader. You are a friend. And always remember that mermaids, Moana, and Tinker Bell don't have thigh gaps - they are beautiful. Violet Parr (the Incredibles, anyone?), Princess Jasmine, and Wonder Woman do - and they are beautiful, too. The point, dear reader, is that you are perfect, just the way you are.

Another woman's beauty is not the absence of your own.

- Maya

Photo by Eloise Ambursley on Unsplash, Photo by Vincent Camacho on Unsplash,
Photo by Tuấn Trương on Unsplash, Photo by Katy Belcher on Unsplash,
Photo by Deddy Yoga Pratama on Unsplash