A Letter From the New Kid

Dear New Kids and the Kids That Are Not So New;

Yesterday was the very first day of freshmen orientation at my new school, and golly gee willikers, was I a living, breathing bundle of nerves! You know the kind I'm talking about - where it feels like the butterflies in your stomach have turned into full-blown fire-breathing dragons. I've never been the new kid before. Sure, there was the first day of preschool. But who on Earth remembers their first day of preschool? And seeing as I've been with the same kids since entering that classroom full of three-year-olds, I wasn't exactly brand new in elementary or junior high school. I always walked in the door somewhat confidently, because I knew someone, I had a friend, and I wasn't ever in completely uncharted territory. I've never been the newbie, but I've sure met a whole lot of them. Every time a new student appeared in the school hallways, I would be so excited. They were someone intriguing and unfamiliar among a sea of people I knew quite well. They were interesting, and I was always curious about them. Heck, maybe the new, quiet kid in the back of my science class would turn out to be my best friend!

However - as of yesterday, I can officially say that I've reversed roles. 

Since Kindergarten, I've thought that I would attend the local high school surrounded by those I've known since we were wee tadpoles. Alas! This is not what came to pass. Instead, I auditioned for and was accepted into an arts school about an hour away from home. An arts school that offered me an abundance of opportunities, but where I knew no one. An arts school that would be a great leap out of my comfort zone. When I decided to take that leap, I kept looking back. What if I'd made the wrong decision? What if I lost contact with my old friends? What if I didn't like the school? For months and months, I focused only on the cons of leaving my old life behind. Pessimistic views filled my brain, leaving no space for the pros of a new adventure. Needless to say, when I walked into the commons yesterday at 7:40 A.M. sharp, I was having some serious doubts. 

But... guess what? My mind was playing tricks on me! I wasn't any more nervous than anyone else, and there were 35 other brand new students who were in my very same position. Most people were incredibly welcoming, and after the first hour, I was laughing and chatting with the rest of my class. In fact, I've made a wonderful new friend called Anastasia, who loves super heroes, has purple hair, and is extraordinarily funny. 

Before my first day of orientation, I had been scouring the Internet for 'New Kid Tips.' I learned that you should make a point of noticing the eye color of the people you meet; those extra seconds of eye contact will (apparently) make you seem more genuine. And if you forget someone's name, say "What is your name again?" and once they've said their first name, say "No, I meant your last name." Then they won't think you actually failed to recall it. My dad says this last one is silly, because folks won't be offended if you forget their name when you're a foreigner in a new atmosphere (I still thought the trick was kind of clever). Oh well. My point is, the Internet helped me to feel a little more comfortable. As I say, I was very nervous. So today, I thought I'd write a "letter" to all of the new students out there in hopes that I can help you navigate your first day at school. Additionally, I thought it might be helpful if I pointed out some of the things Not So New Kids did that assisted in making me feel welcome. Here we go!

For the New Kids: Everything you read on the great wide expanse of the Inter web about this topic will mention the following tip: be confident. This doesn't mean that you have to swagger into the room with an air of nonchalance, or that you have to be the most outgoing person ever. Don't act untouchable. Instead, try picking out clothes that make you feel self-assured. Make sure that they express who you are: you only get one first impression! I went with one of my favorite t-shirts and jean shorts. While I wanted to look put together, I wasn't about to deck myself out from head to toe. Be yourself! Next, make sure to be kind to everyone. You don't want to be known as the snooty person that arrived at school thinking they're all that and a bag of chips. You don't know which of your future best buds is in that crowd of new acquaintances. It would be quite unfortunate if a possible good friend never got to know you because you seemed aloof. Even if there are a few people that you don't like immediately, I advise you to give them time. You never truly know who someone is, what their story is, and what they're going through after just one meeting. While their first impression on you is just as important as yours on them, don't judge. Just smile, be polite, and be warm with everyone that you meet. 

Try to remember things people say. Easily recalling someone's favorite color or remembering a fun fact you learned about them in class will allow you to make connections with your peers. For instance, there is a girl in one of my classes name Jordan, who has a sister adopted from Peru. By storing this information away in a little corner of my mind, I was a able to bring it up in a conversation, showing that I listen and care. As my sister is adopted from China, my remembering this bitty piece of trivia helped me to establish a parallel between the two of us. Be who you want to be. Starting at a new school is exciting in part because you have the opportunity to reinvent yourself. Perhaps you didn't love how you were perceived last year; were you the class clown who always got in trouble and didn't do your work? This is your one chance to turn the page and start anew! No one really knows who you are at a new school, which gives you a blank slate to recreate yourself. Remember that you should still be, well, you. Don't make yourself into an unrealistic cartoon character. But do take this unique occasion to make an impression on your teachers and classmates. Have fun! Remember not to take yourself to seriously; you're not the only one who's anxious.

For the Not So New Kids: Something that really helped me yesterday is when you approached me. Sure, I want to make friends and I'm excited to be here at your school. But I'm also feeling totally lost. I'm not sure where I fit in the hierarchy of this place. It definitely works wonders when you Not So New Kids approach us. During the introduction from the Principal yesterday, I noticed a girl with bright red lipstick approach a new boy sitting all alone. They shook hands, had a short conversation, and then the boy went to go sit down with Red Lipstick and her friends. I thought that was a fantastic move! A girl named Finn, who I thought looked exactly like Kit Kittredge the American Girl Doll, came up to me later in the day. She introduced herself, and asked me what my major is (as it's an arts school, we all have a specific art major for which we were accepted - mine is creative writing). Although I didn't see her for the rest of the day, Finn's initiating small talk with me made me much happier. Anastasia did the same thing, and now, we're on our way to becoming friends! 

Talk to the newbies. I know it's easy to launch into a conversation with your old friends during break. You haven't seen them all summer, and want to catch up! I certainly did the same thing at my old school. But it's really, really awkward for the new students when they have no one to talk to. If you see someone you don't recognize pretending to be super engrossed in their phone, don't be afraid to approach them! I know we're unfamiliar, but we want someone to talk to just as much as anyone else. Invite the new kid to chat with you and your pals, or to sit with the lot of you at lunch. Lunch is awful when you're the new kid. You, however, can make it better. Be friendly. This one is super straightforward, but sometimes can be hard to do. When you don't know someone, you tend to be cautious around them, at least until you figure out what they're all about. It's normal, but let's change it! It definitely makes a difference if you are open and welcoming to the new students; not only will they be a TON more relaxed, but you may have just made yourself a new friend!

That's all for now, everyone! Thanks for tuning in. I hope your school year is off to a rock-star start.

- Maya

 

Photo by Kyle Glenn on Unsplash, Photo by Zulmaury Saavedra on Unsplash,

Photo by Paulette Wooten on Unsplash, Photo by Jessica Ruscello on Unsplash,

Photo by Zachary Nelson on Unsplash, Photo by Logan Isbell on Unsplash,

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash