This afternoon, I was scrolling through Pinterest. I happen to follow several feminist boards, and often, I find inspirational quotations, signs, and pictures to pin. These are fabulous - I love them! They make me feel confident and strong, and promote the idea of claiming one's rights and forging one's own path. But sometimes, these feminist quotes can be a little confusing to me. For instance: today, while sipping an iced Bengal Spice tea, I came across a few quotes that said things like "Down with the patriarchy," and "I'm not sorry about your fragile masculinity." Insert a stunned silence here.
Wait, wait, wait. Hold up. If feminism is meant to be about the equality of all genders, these quotes don't fit into the definition. It seemed to me as though they were putting men and boys down. If I were a boy, would I be slightly put off of the philosophy by reading these? Yes, yes I would. I identify as a passionate feminist. But my goal has never been to "smash the patriarchy" or hold little regard for "fragile masculinity." I don't think the world should be a patriarchy
OR a matriarchy; instead, it should be a place where every gender is equal. I don't want to lessen the worth of boys and men while striving to advocate for my gender. I see notebooks at the store that say "The Future is Female." Great. Just great. Girl power is amazing!!! But... can't it just be "The Future is Equal"? I don't know. I guess that doesn't have the same ring to it - alliteration, am I right? This is one of my problems with how many people perceive feminism.
Another idea that I dislike about how feminism is viewed is that one cannot be a feminist
and feminine. The two ideas have a strained relationship, primarily due to the connotation associated with being feminine. Consider this: being girly is linked in the minds of many to the color pink. And what do girly and pink make you think of? Sparkles, sunglasses, or make-up, perhaps? Spa days, sequined pillows, or baking cookies? Because of its shallow connotation, I decided that I hated everything about being feminine at a young age. Pink meant frilly and fluffy and high-heeled to me, and I despised that. Frilly and fluffy and high-heeled seemed
weak compared to the sports and smarts that were associated with the more "masculine" blue. And so I "became," if you will, a tomboy. Although I enjoyed shopping, deep down, I swore it off. I moaned and groaned when I was actually having fun browsing blouses and bracelets with my mom and sister. It was all because I wanted nothing to do with the "superficial" world of fashion, dolls, and glitter. But then, other girls didn't really want much to do with me and my blue closet. I was too "boyish" and "athletic."
This was a time in my life when I was terribly confused. If I wore pink and lip gloss, I would be thought of as girly, which I
thought was synonymous with weak. But if I wore running shorts and blue tees, I didn't fit in because I was dressed like a boy. It took me a long time to start integrating my closet. Now, I have both pink and blue, and every other shade in the rainbow living in my drawers. It took me a while to realize that wearing a dress instead of jeans didn't make me delicate, and that wearing jeans instead of a dress didn't make me stronger. There's this excellent G.D. Anderson quote that describes perfectly what I came to realize: "Feminism isn't about making women stronger. Women are already strong. It's about changing the way the world perceives that strength." In my case, I needed to come to terms with the idea that feminine doesn't mean fragile, and sporting a coral skirt instead of jogger pants wouldn't affect my worth.
For the first time, I could wear a floral scarf and a dress on a Monday, followed by shorts and a NASA shirt on Tuesday without feeling uncertain. For the first time, what I wore had no correlation to how I viewed myself or my gender. For the first time, at the ripe age of nine, I had finally recognized that I could be a feminine feminist. Thank
goodness!
This is me, everyone. I'm a feminine feminist, who is not afraid to look polished and nice during the Women's March. I'm a feminine feminist, and I don't want to smash the patriarchy and build a matriarchy; I just want to be instrumental in nurturing unity and asserting human rights. I'm a feminine feminist, and I believe in equality. I believe in strength in all forms, shapes, and sizes. I believe in love.
As Meghan Markle once said, "You can be a woman who wants to look good and still stand up for the equality of women."
- Maya
Photo by Vlad Tchompalov on Unsplash,
Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash,
Photo by Jerry Kiesewetter on Unsplash,
Photo by Adam Marcucci on Unsplash,
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