Love Yourself

I hope you have a sheet of paper and a pen handy because you are going to need them. Or I guess you could simply make use of the convenient 'notes' app on your phone. Or, you could even just make a list in your head. As it turns out, you have a lot of options.

Okay. So I would like you to please put your pen to paper, your finger to the notes app on your screen, or... your mind to work. And please generate a list of all of the things you love. My list, for instance, would go something like this:

- Arugula, avocados, and blackberries
- Coffee and tea
- My friends and family
- Weight training and yoga
- Harry Potter, movies, and Stranger Things!
- Writing, writing, writing
- Learning and Music

What's on your list? Do you enjoy playing soccer, or pottery classes? You didn't forget to include your adorable German Shepard, did you? And you definitely remembered your best friend on the cross country team? Good. But there is probably one crucial element missing from your list of loved things. To be a little bit more specific, there is probably an important person you accidentally omitted.

If you participated in my little activity, I wonder how long it took before you listed yourself; that is, if you listed yourself at all. When I completed a Love List for the first time, a few months ago when I started my bullet journal, I included all of the elements named above. But I didn't mention myself at all. And unfortunately, this lapse in memory wasn't very unexpected. We live in a society that puts a huge amount of emphasis on pleasing others; we work hard every day so that our fellows may respect us, we are kind so that our image will be a positive one, and we turn in our homework so that our teachers see us as devoted and responsible in character. Answer me this - have you ever once sat down and completed pages upon pages of geometry homework to please yourself? Or did you calculate the angles of that isosceles triangle because your teacher said to? Yeah. That's what I thought.

And when you wake up each morning, and sprint to the bathroom mirror to apply a thick mask of makeup or do a few pull-ups, do you do those things for you? Probably not. After all, you won't be seeing that face of eyeliner, foundation, and lipstick today; others will, though. If you're doing pull-ups, are you doing them for the great rush of endorphins that follow, or because you need to look good? Hmm. This is a tough concept to tackle - I believe that people should do what they want. If you want to wear highlighter, go ahead! And if you do pull-ups every morning, the more power to you. Whatever floats your boat. But that is the point exactly; it is crucial that everything we say, every action we take, is not conducted solely for other people. We need to factor ourselves into the equation. We need to love ourselves.

Now, I invite you to think about your best friend. About all of the good times you've had together, about the laughs, the fights, the silly inside jokes. Ponder everything that makes this person absolutely spectacular, what makes them someone you'd do anything for.

I'd be willing to bet that you would never ever, ever, ever say some of the things you say to yourself to your best friend. If you look in the mirror each morning and think that you are ugly, overweight, or not good enough, permit me to ask this question - would you ever call your best friend ugly, overweight, or not good enough? And if you use the words 'myself' and 'hate' in the same sentence - can you imagine telling your best bud that you hate them? Would you ever tell your best friend to skip a meal so that they can knock off that last five pounds? Would you ever tell one of the most important people in your life that nobody likes them? That they aren't cool? That they don't deserve to be happy and to be accepted?

No. No, my dear reader, you would not. And yet, we tell ourselves these things so often. We compare ourselves to everyone around us, we put ourselves down, and we impale ourselves on negative self-talk, the sharpest of swords. There is this beautiful quote from Zen Shin that reads "A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it, it just blooms." I firmly feel that this is a vital point. We, as a community of happy, health-oriented people, we as a society, and we as a world must recognize that all things are beautiful. All people are good enough. All people want the exact same things out of this incredible life that we have been granted. So my friend, next time you judge yourself based on the appearance of the girls in the magazines, please remember to think "She is beautiful, but so am I." The next time you glance in the mirror, smile widely and say loudly "I am enough, just as I am at this moment." And the next time you draft a list of all of the things on this lovely planet that bring you an inexplicable amount of joy, remember to think "I am one of those things." You deserve everything and more, my darling friends, and the only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.

Life is a journey, and every step of the way, we have a chance to better ourselves. We have an opportunity to be kind, loving, optimistic, mindful, and wonderfully alive. In the words of Theodore Roosevelt, "Comparison is the thief of joy." Personally, I intend to guard my joy with every ounce of strength I possess, which means that the art of comparison I mastered so long ago has been kicked out of my life. Farewell. Goodbye. Adieu.

Love yourself, my friend. Love everything, from the uniqueness of your laughter to your freckles to the pounding of your heart. If you are able to appreciate yourself now, for everything that you are, you will live your life with more purpose and happiness than you can possibly imagine.

"Comparison is an act of violence against the self" - Iyanla Vanzant

Have a fantastic rest of your day, everyone.
- Maya

Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash, Photo by Kayle Kaupanger on Unsplash,
Photo by Ugur Akdemir on Unsplash, Photo by Javier Ramos on Unsplash,
Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash, Photo by Ivan Cabañas on Unsplash
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