I Am... and Still...

There's a poet I truly admire called Alex Elle. Her writing is quite contemporary, often focusing on self-love, growth, healing, and empowerment. It isn't full of abstract metaphors. It isn't too word-y. For the most part, her pieces are simple, but they resonate with people. They make you feel something. In my creative writing class this past year, my friends would often discuss what qualifies as poetry. Some prefer odes, villanelles, and longer forms of poetry that need time to create, marinate, and become something of substance. Others found beauty in a few well thought-out, carefully curated lines. Some said shorter, Rupi-Kaur-style works should not qualify as poetry. I understand what they meant, but I do not agree. Poetry, in my humble opinion, should make you feel something. That's the only qualification necessary. I've read long poems that fail at this, but I've also read short pieces that leave me feeling no different from before. Poetry can be spoken or written word. It can be a walk at dusk in the summer. Poetry is a meditation, and it's a meditation Alex Elle guides quite wonderfully.

One aspect of poetry I adore is its form. I'm not talking about haiku versus free verse, but rather the way the words are organized on the page. There's a reason elementary-schoolers are drawn to poems about apples, conveniently shaped as apples (this is called a concrete poem, just in case you're weird like me and enjoy knowing these things.) The way the poem is positioned on the page need not be quite so literal, however. Consider the list poem, or the amount of contrast achieved when short stanzas are interspersed with lengthy ones. Elle is very good at incorporating such visual appeal into her work, especially her affirmation pieces, by way of diagrams. By illustration - she'll create a two column list, one side titled "I Am...," and the other, "...and Still..." Here's a quick little example I wrote:

I Am...	… and Still…
Quiet	Can speak up for what I believe in.

Elle's poems and affirmations, of course, are far more beautiful. Her penmanship is killer. But I digress. Upon scrolling through Pinterest for a ridiculous amount of time, ogling her poetry and unique formats, I decided I may as well draft up an "I Am... and Still..." chart of my own. So, I hunted down a piece of blank white paper. I sat at the kitchen island, sharpened my pencil, and looked at the paper. For a long. Long. Time.

Now, currently, our family friends from England are visiting us in the States. They have a little girl, who we will call Remi, and a teenage boy, called Finn. These are not their real names, but privacy is rather important, you know. About fifteen minutes after I'd first planted myself and a blank paper at the island, Remi wandered over. She is the sweetest thing in the entire world. She has big, light eyes and a trail of freckles across her nose. She is chatty, and won't give up on making your dog like her, even though said dog has tried to nimble her fingers off four times. She is also nine-years-old. So, naturally, I assumed she wouldn't be too interested in my Alex Elle-inspired project. I certainly wouldn't have been, when I was nine. How very wrong I was.

First, she asked what I was doing. Then, she asked if she could help. Soon, we were taking turns, inking in adjectives to describe the other person while they wrote their own "... and Still..." Here is how our chart went:

I Am...	...and Still...
Maya: Kind	I must work on my patience!
Remi: Cheerful	Get very frustrated sometimes
Maya: [I Have A] Good personality	Can work on speaking kindly to others
Remi: Talented	Have to practice a lot to do well
Maya: Pretty	Can work on kinder self-talk and confidence
Remi: Stylish and Beautiful	Must try to have more food that I like.

Essentially, Remi would write an adjective to describe me in the "I Am..." space. Then, I would write my "...and Still." Next, I'd give her an adjective, like cheerful, and the whole process would continue. It was a great deal of fun. I was particularly happy about Remi's response to being called stylish and beautiful. She told me in her elegant Northern English accent, "That's lovely!" and then proceeded to write, "... and Still... must try to have more food that I like." That's fair, I thought, trying not to laugh, for a little girl who doesn't eat fruits, vegetables, or anything with a sauce.

Later that evening, I saw the chart on my desk as I was getting ready for bed. It made me smile. But it also caused me to think about and come to realizations about certain things...

1. Remi went for adjectives to describe personality before she chose appearance-related words. This is very important, especially for young girls, who are so often taught that their looks supersede many other aspects of their identities.
2. I began to wonder if, had I completed this activity with an older girl, the adjectives would be more or less appearance based. My guess is more. See, teenage girls and women have had more exposure to societal standards and beauty norms. I would be curious to see how their "I Am.." columns would diverge from Remi's.
3. Charts like these, and much of Alex Elle's work, revolve around balance. I am happy, but it is okay to be sad. The affirmations appreciate an attribute we already have while recognizing what we still can be or do. This was a powerful exercise in self-reflection.
4. Nobody is perfect. Of course, I already knew this, but the activity was an excellent reminder. Though each individual possesses incredible traits, there is always room for growth. We are all special in some way, all the best at something, and yet, there is never a shortage of potential in one person. Elle's chart forces both the writer and the reader to see places for self-improvement without overshadowing self-compassion.
5. Even if you're stylish and beautiful, you must find a recipe for brussel sprouts that doesn't make you want to cry.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, my loves. I hope the remainder of your day is just as splendid as you are.

Until next time,

Maya 

I Am...	...and Still...
Insecure	Appreciate my body as a vehicle for the adventurous life I lead.
A bit closed-off	Am working on learning about the strength in my vulnerability
Tired	Wash my face before going to sleep
A little lost	Have years and years to discover who I can and who I want to be
Afraid to fail	Recognize such failing to be an opportunity to grow
Almost sixteen	Dream of being the Little Mermaid when I’m older

Photo by Angelina Litvin on Unsplash, Photo by Gift Habeshaw on Unsplash,

Photo by Raychan on Unsplash, Photo by Maya, Photo by Danielle MacInnes on Unsplash