Today, I want to talk about feelings. All of the mushy gushy, wishy washy stuff. I was texting a friend this afternoon who I won't name; it's important to preserve her privacy, as emotions are very personal. This friend told me that she doesn't have a clear, collected head space at the moment, and that there is a lot going on in her life right now. She said that she's not feeling motivated, and that while she's not sad, exactly, she's been feeling unsure and a bit confused all summer. When I asked if there was anything I could do, she said no, but thank you for caring.
Her response made me sad.
I want to help my friends when they are having a hard time. I want to fix things, board up all of the cracks, sew together any ripped seams. But sometimes, I just can't; I have to step back and offer gentle support while a friend pieces together their own puzzle. I have to let them work out their own troubles. As much as I would like a magic wand, I don't have one. I can't shout '
Abracadabra!' and make everything all right. I'm not a super hero; I can't always save the day, and I hate it. This is something I've always struggled with, actually. 'Perfectionist' is practically synonymous with my name, especially when it comes to my helping others or solving problems.
As for the friend in question - I think you know who you are. And if you're reading this, I want you to know that I truly care about you. You are not alone in feeling confused and apprehensive. I wish I could pin on my nonexistent super hero cape, snap my fingers, and assist you in a flash. I wish I could read your mind so that I know what is going on and how I can be of help. But...
I just can't. So although you say there is nothing I can do, I'm writing this post for you.
You are never alone. Nobody experiences the exact same things in life, but I, for one, have felt insecure, unconfident, and perplexed, too. I have felt that my life was out of control, as though I'm a video game character controlled by a joystick. Things are not always easy, for anyone. Occasionally, they become terribly dark, and make us feel like we are drowning in nothingness. Everyone feels this way. I've been there. Your next-door neighbor's likely been there. Each person at school has almost certainly been there, but I promise that it will pass.
Life isn't a parallel ride. It dips up and down, there are some crazy sharp turns, and there are elating moments when you feel as though you can touch the clouds. Have you seen the film
Love, Simon? There's a great quote from that movie that I think describes life perfectly: "One minute, I'm on top of the world. Then the next, I'm at rock-bottom." So, my friend - no matter which you are, on top of the world or at rock-bottom, or somewhere in between - know that you aren't
ever alone. You are special, and fabulous, and I admire you. You'll get out of this, because you are a fighter. Thank you for being you.
Remember that you are enough, just as you are. I'm here for you.
Storms don't last forever.
- Maya
Photo by James Baldwin on Unsplash,
Photo by Lidya Nada on Unsplash,
Photo by Guilherme Stecanella on Unsplash
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